June 18th

It is very hard to sit down and write a blog post. Especially because I want to keep my time on the internet short while still responding to emails and messages and figuring out tuition and other things for the fall semester. Very time consuming and sometimes frustrating when the internet is slow.

Meanwhile, Tonga has been very good to me! Victoria and I bought fabric to make traditional Tongan attire out of, and we now have some outfits so that we look presentable at church and other affairs. I've been writing in my field journal religiously because it is sort of a relief to sit down and write out everthing I'm thinking or seeing or feeling. I really miss American things a lot of the time, but like some people have pointed out, it's more important to focus on the Tongan things that are good, rather than the American things that are missing. And a lot of the time I just look around me and think, "am I really here? Am I really doing this?" Like the other day we woke up at 5:30 to get to the market early. We got there at like 6:30 and I slept in the car for a bit. When I woke up, I was like, look at me in some tongan lady's van at 6 in the morning on a small island in the middle of the Pacific. The sun was rising and everything was pink and purple and the water was calm. It was lovely and I felt happy. And other times I just get to spend time with the kids playing games or teaching them things or just falling asleep with them. And I feel like I love this family I'm with. They're special to me--they have their differences, which are sometimes overwhelmingly annoying, and there is definitely a language barrier, but they are doing their best to make us happy and I'm grateful for that.

Yesterday we went to a wedding. It was Catholic, so in the morning we went to Catholic mass, something I haven't even experienced in English, which is unfortunate. It was quite different from anything I've done before. There was lots of kneeling then standing then sitting then kneeling then standing again. And singing and walking around. Then finally we left and walked to the bride's house, where everyone sat down to a feast of whole roast pigs, horse, chicken, eggs, hot dogs, sausages, crab salad, potato salad, soda, chips. Anything you can think of except fruits and vegetables, which I crave everyday. Then as soon as you were full, everone filled up plastic bags and boxes with as much food as they could to take home. They gave us a lot because we're palangi, and it was heavy to carry home.

We also made french toast the other day, which our family loved and we were really excited about. We interviewed the police chief, who was very kind and gave us lots of advice about dressing modestly and not being out after dark. We interviewed the principal of Saineha, the local LDS high school. We also interviewed the assistant to the governor (because the governor was sick) to learn about how the government is organized. Almost none of the governmental positions are filled through elections. I was nearly bewildered by that, but I suppose it's how most countries are run.

Most of my days are occupied by volunteering at primary schools and kindergartens, finding food, reading books, writing in my journal, playing with the kids, attending choir practice (which I love), and sleeping.
Last Saturday I think I ate some bad chicken and was sick all Sunday. then Monday I ate a big meal because we came to town and I was hungry, but Monday night I threw that up. Then all week I've had a sore throat.. It's awful being sick somewhere unfamiliar. The days become more dull and you have no energy to even want to try new things. I'm kind of secretly hoping that I'll feel sick enough to go to the Tongan healer, because I'll want to know what they can do for me, and I think it would also be useful for my project.

I really do love it here sometimes. I'm feeling more like I belong and that I understand the people. It makes me think that I could never go anywhere for a short visit, like two or three weeks, it will always have to be longer. And I can never live in a hotel or a lodge, I'll hvae to live in the villages with the people becasue that is the only way to truly understand them. And that makes me very very grateful for this opportunity. It's hard, and sometimes I'm hungry and hot and sticky, but I get to meet so many people who are fascinated by me and by who I am and how I speak. Initially I was annoyed at all the people who stare or laugh at me, but now I stare or laugh back. The tongan people are quite fascinating; very different. I'll write more about them when I get the chance.